CFOG's PIP, March 1988, Volume 7 No. 2, Whole No. 64, page 30

OREMA Eliminates Errors

[From the newsletter of the SIG-80 group of CACHE -- bhc]

A computer program has been announced that virtually eliminates lost time due to malfunctions of computer components. Called "OREMA" from the Latin "oremus", meaning "let us pray", the program offers prayers at selected intervals for the continuing integrity of memory units, tape transports and other elements subject to depravity.

Basically liturgical in structure, OREMA uses standard petitions and intercessions stored on magnetic tapes in Latin, Hebrew, and Fortran. It holds regular maintenance services thrice daily on an automatic cycle. Operator intervention is required only for mounting tapes and typing responses, such as "and with thy spirit", on the console.

Prayers in Hebrew and Fortran are offered directly to the CPU, with Latin prayers offered directly to peripheral equipment for transfer to the CPU by internal subroutines.

Although manufucturer-supplied prayer reels cover all machine troubles known today, the program will add punched card prayers to any tape, as needed, after the final existing AMEN block. Classified prayer reels are available for government installations.

In trials on selected machines, OREMA reduced by 98.25% the average down time due to component failure. The manufacturer's spokesman emphasized, however, that OREMA presently defends only against malfunctions of hardware. Requestor errors and other human blunders will continue unchecked until completion of a later version to be called "SIN-OREMA".

CFOG's PIP, March 1988, Volume 7 No. 2, Whole No. 64, page 30

New Products: Ultra-Card

Sure, you're tired of reading about all the new products being introduced for your PC, but there are a few you've probably not heard about. Gleaned from the back pages of some of the more obscure regional publications come these revolutionary PC helpers.

ULTRA-SOFT PRODUCTS, of South Olmsted, Ohio, has introduced the ultimate add-on card, which it has shyly dubbed "THE ULTRA-CARD". uc combines all of the most popular options that power users want in an add-on card on ONE CARD. Their system contains Turbo-VGA/EGA/CGA and Hercules graphics (four position switch selectable or software adjustable), a 68 Mb Hard Card, high speed clock crystal at 35, 25, 20, 16, 12, 8, or 4.77 MHz (again software selectable) for PC-AT performance, parallel port, serial port, game port, and vintage 1932 Chateau La Port, a 68030 emulator for Apple applications, and a built-in Hayes and USR compatible 9600 bps modem, FAX, and scanner.

Standard expanded memory is 4 Mb, which can be used as a RAM disk or print spooler (software is incluiled for both applications) and a 80747 math co-processor is standard. The board comes bundled with BoeingCalc, the 3D spreadsheet from the fine folks that brought you the 727--737--747 family of software products, that gave new meaning to the word "crash".

The new card fits any standard PC expansion slot, with only minor modifications to the rear of the cabinet. "We don't think users will have any problem with a standard hack saw cutting the back plate to allow the Ultra Card to protrude slightly from the rear of the case", said John Madman, product development for Ultra-Soft. "Some users may find it slightly inconvenient thaving tot move their desks three feet away from the wall to accomodate the additional length, but we feel the merits of the Ultra-Card far outweigh this slight disadvantage," he added.

(Please turn to page 767 for the conclusion of this article and photo of the Ultra-Card.)

[With apologies to Bob Bemis of the SIG-80 group of CACHE, from which this was stolen and updated! -- bhc]